FATAWESOME

Check it out on youtube too (available in ‘high quality’)

(The Weekly Fatness will be a series of ongoing posts that will let you get to know the people of FATAWESOME a little more intimately.)

Did we land on the Moon?
Chris- No, this is a parking lot. Get the hell away from my car.
Jimmy- I did. We did not.
Justin- Moon?
Shoaib- No, but Brendan Fraiser did.

Song of the week.
CB- Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio
JC- Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer
JP- Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette
SM- Sweat by Inner Circle

Preferred Potato Preperation.
CB- McCain Smiles
JC- Squashed
JP- Potato Rotato… its when you are put into a dryer with 10 potatoes and see how many u can eat in 5 minutes
SM- Potatotini… 3 parts gin, 1 part potato, dash of sweet vermouth

Trashed Comic Idea.
CB- A couple having a heated argument about their failing marriage and their unapparent sex lives. Zooms out and is a videogame on TV with a child playing it as a game.
JC- Two baboons sitting on a branch, one is daring the other one to moon a girl through her bedroom window. The last frame is a still taken from The Ring of the girl in the closet with her face all distorted.
JP- 1st frame: guy talking on phone, 2nd frame: guy looks out window sees a massive phone with legs running down the street, 3rd frame: guy running after massive phone
SM- title “trashed comic idea” artist with a blank first frame, 2nd frame: oscar the grouch trying to sell crack rocks to drunk kids outside trailer park, 3rd frame: artist crumples up comic and throws it in the trash

Favorite Pick-Up Line
CB- Hey does this smell like chloroform?
JC- How much do you weigh? (Enough to break the ice)
JP- Smell her hair when shes not looking, until she catches you…then smile at her with your eyes barely open.
SM- The more you drink the better i look.

We just shot a brand new sketch video called ‘Teleporting.’ This one was shot in HD to enhance your FATAWESOME viewing experience. After the ‘Creator of Arnold Schwarzenegger,’ video is completed, ‘Teleporting’ is next on the list. More comics coming soon too.

Get out your comfy chairs and put on those diapers- FATAWESOME is making videos again.

We had the privilege of sitting down for an exclusive interview with Walter Boyle, the creator of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The video will be ready in all of its glory this July.

Fatawesome’s philanthropic organization, the Cement Foundation, is holding its first annual charity fundraiser, entitled “Amethyst in Our Midst”. The purpose of this event is to raise the necessary money to purchase a large amethyst geode.

The Cement Foundation is working to end the absence of huge crystals from my apartment. “Amethyst in Our Midst” unites people of all races and ethnicities to pursue an agenda aimed at: 1) Increasing participation in, and understanding of, purchasing large geodes. 2)Raising awareness on the benefits of Fatawesome owning this geode. 3) Prevention of others from purchasing this geode. 4) Improvement in the quality of life for small children or gnomes who may dwell in it. 5) Filling the gap between my dresser and bed. 6) Impressing passersby that happen to gaze into my bay window.

This particular large geode from Uruguay is extremely valuable after evidence surfaced of an unusual effect. It has been speculated that large concentrations of amethyst attract Sylvester Stallone. Scientists investigated such phenomenon after the third annual Stone Collectors Convention, where Stallone was spotted and quoted saying “I don’t know why I’m here or how I got here”.

After months of controversial testing, it was found that Stallone’s DNA sequences are over 99.9% similar to that of this giant crystal. Further investigation is warranted for proof that Stallone was in fact birthed from a large geode. Also, it may be no coincidence that if you remove every letter from the middle of Sylvester’s last name you get ’stone’. The rumors and legends surrounding ’stone’ Stallone have found their way into children’s nightmares. One particular urban legend suggests that if one recites “rocky rambo” three times while hold amethyst in a darkened room, Stallone will appear. Busting these myths will be one of the many tasks of Fatawesome after obtaining the gigantic crystal.

Please help this worthy cause by emailing money to Fatawesome. The Cement Foundation is a non-profit organization founded by the members of Fatawesome.

(To purchase the crystal on our behalf, it is available through the Wegner’s Quartz Crystal Mine.)